Don’t let your Budo be about anyone else.
Don’t train for any other person other than yourself. You don’t 'owe' it to anyone to go to training (other than yourself).The idea might sound somewhat 'selfish', but your training is all about you. Never let the focus or the subject of your training be anyone other than yourself.
Training for any reason other than your own self-development is not how Budo is meant to be. It's not a team sport where the team needs to work together.
The very point of Budo training is for your own development.
It is true that you might train for reasons beyond yourself (to be able to defend others for example), but the actual training itself is for you and about you!
Don’t train for other students or peers.
It's not unique to be in a situation where you find yourself only turning up because 'such-and-such' expects you to be there, or because you hope to see 'such-and-such'.It's all good to make friends and be social at training, but that shouldn't be the only reason for going. If it is only for the 'social aspect', why not save the money you spend on the training fee/rego and just grab a coffee with these people instead?
People that are only there to see other people are fine before and after the class, but they'll never be switched on during the training, as their focus isn't on the actual activity. Whenever motivation or focus isn't on self-improvement, it's not possible to make any real improvement.
Many students have a need to compare their own progress with those around them. They judge themselves based on others progress (as if anyone's progress has anything to do with anyone else's). If you do this, it basically makes your training all about everyone else.
Don't come to training with any need to prove anything to anyone.
It makes it too easy to blame others for your own faults.
In the end, this has the same result; motivation not being in the right place. You waste time and energy comparing yourself to others when you could just focus on what you need to do to make yourself better.
The extreme of this is that some people only come to Budo training as a way to be better than other specific people. Some people only train in a particular school because if they leave then 'that other person' will progress ahead of them. These people have some need to show others that they are 'better' than the other person. This is truly immature. A person that does this makes their own training solely about that other person, it's not a healthy attitude.
Don't train for other students or peers.
You shouldn’t be there to compare with them or to gain any sort of notoriety with them.
Don’t train for the instructor.
If your instructor makes you feel obligated to attend classes, it’s probable that he/she is more worried about your money/attendance than your development as a Budoka.A good instructor knows that someone will only learn when they want to.
You should want to do it, rather than feel obligated.
If the instructor pressures or manipulates people into training with them, they aren't concerned so much with those people becoming the best they can be.
They are more concerned with their own bank account and the notoriety of being able to say "I have <insert large number> people training under me."
This is when your training becomes all about the instructor or the school, and not so much about you or your journey. If it was about your journey, your freedom of choice would be given more importance.
An unfortunate result of this (beyond the instructors greed and arrogance) is that the student's become 'consumers' rather than something more like 'trainees', 'disciples' or 'apprentices'.
As 'consumers' the students training frequency becomes more important than training 'quality'. As a result, students start to think that they are doing what is required simply by turning up, because they know that "turning up will make Sensei happy".
If the focus is on the quality of the students and not the club, then the training becomes about the students, not the instructors.
So... if (as a student) you want your training to have more quality, then focus on yourself and what you are learning. Make your training about YOU and not the instructor or the club.
Make YOUR Budo training about YOU!!!
At the heart of it all; it's about taking responsibility for you own training.Make yourself accountable for it!
So, when others students grade (or not), it's all about them and has nothing to do with you.
When you grade (or not), it's about you and not about other students (or even the instructor).
When you are training for YOU, it's easy to understand that your training and the results of it are a reflection of YOUR focus and effort.
Be selfish! When you're at training, make your training about you!
You're only there for you and understand that everyone else in the room is doing the same thing (except the instructor, they should be there for all).
Budo training is not a group activity or a team sport, it's a deeply personal journey. It's very long-term and it's about learning and development.
Don't make it about anyone else.
Don’t be a consumer or a customer. Be a student, a follower of the way.
Take ownership of it and make your Budo YOUR OWN!
Do what feels right to you!
Never just blindly follow the system, or style.
Seek your own understanding!
Don't just follow someone else's way, find your OWN way!
It’s your personal journey of self-discovery and self-perfection.
(Don't give that away)
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